The Prescription Pad

practical advice from an almost insane doctor

Question: Doc, what would you do if you were this guy on the video?

Answer: I would probably hang myself. But seriously, this public proposals are actually quite rude. Imagine being asked to say yes to a commitment of a lifetime and then the rest of the world are watching you, pressuring you to say yes even if you don’t really feel like saying so? I guess that is what happened to this girl right there. Still I would hang myself. Maybe shoot myself then hang myself, whichever works first. 

Traffic?

procession

Question: How do I avoid the traffic today because of the Black Nazarene procession? Thanks - Quiapo Kid.

Answer: Staying in your house is definitely a sure way of avoiding traffic. Nevertheless, here’s the route of the procession and maybe you can be guided in your travels today.

View The 2012 Procession of the Black Nazarene in a larger map

Find My True Love?

female hunter

Question: For years, I’ve been waiting for the right guy for me, Doc but it seems I always end up frustrated. I fear that like some of my female cousins, I would end up an old maid. Will I ever find my true love? - WN, 34 years old, female.

Answer: WN, there is nothing wrong with being an old maid. In fact, I think proponents of the Reproductive Health Bill should include this in their proposed bill: to encourage everyone to be “old maids” and to pay them a lump sum of money for every year they remain single. Some European countries are paying their citizens just for them to have babies (because they are running out of people! Too much family planning and population control in the past). So since many “experts” are getting alarmed by our booming population, we should do the reverse here in the Philippines.

Don’t pressure yourself, Tita. Some people are just meant to be alone. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life. You don’t have to worry about the stresses that come along with relationships: breaking up, expenses, staying up late anxious, cellphone load, etc.

But if you really want to find your true love, then do exactly the opposite of what you said. Your first statement was, “For years, I’ve been waiting for the right guy for me…” Maybe you should not wait, Tita. Maybe you should go out there and do the hunting yourself. Come on. It’s the 21st century. It’s high time for the girls to court the dudes and ask them out for a date instead of the traditional norm. I don’t see anything wrong with it. If you want it that bad, then there is no other way but to be aggressive about it.

So, go get them Tiger!

Change My Boyfriend?

cheating

Question: Dear Doctor, I have this boyfriend that I have been with for 2 years already and it has been a roller coaster ride for me. I know he’s not perfect but I am always having problems with his fidelity and honesty. I once caught him going out with someone else and when I confronted him about it, he denied it saying that she was only a friend and that I am his girl forever. But there are other instances like reading text messages from other girls in his phone. We fight and then I always end up forgiving him and giving him another chance. I’m doing this because I would like him to change and I know that he is for me. Will my boyfriend ever change? - OP, 20 years old.

Answer: I don’t know why you still put up with that guy, girl? Being in love does make one’s I.Q. plummet like a bird’s dropping. Come on, girl. You have to get rid of this guy and get rid of him fast. Definitely he has been cheating on you and every time you accept him back, it’s like tolerating his acts and empowering him to do it over and over again. And I thought girls are smarter than boys. 

Look, if he did it once then fine, you can give him another chance. But if he keeps on doing it, then it is clearer than Stevie Wonder’s eyesight that he does not really love you. And love is not a one-way street. 

And don’t even think that you can change your boyfriend. You can’t change him, girl. Hell you can’t change anybody, any person for that matter. It’s a waste of time. Trying to change people is just a lame way of denying the fact about that person. Your boyfriend is definitely an asswipe and he does not need to tell you that he is. So, if I were you, dump this prick and get on with your life, focus your energies on yourself and who knows, somebody out there will notice the better you and sweep you off your feet. 

Why is it more fun in the Philippines? 

Why is it more fun in the Philippines?